I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
