i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
4 words: hood of his car
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
