If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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