He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
