i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
