SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
