Define "chronic" masturbator.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
