he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
