We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
