Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
