if i can run in heels then i can drive
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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