rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
operation have a gay friend backfired
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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