North Korea, Best Korea!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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