either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
