at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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