I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Randomize
