He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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