Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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