"it" just moved
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
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