So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Who wears a wallet chain?!
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
