Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize