Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
