goodnight i made you a song goodbye
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I fill condoms, not promises.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
