Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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