tell your sister to shave her snatch
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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