My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
