I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
