...so i touched it.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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