okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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