I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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