I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize