Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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