You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
nutella sex= disaster
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize