I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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