You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
