Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
