so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
