I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
stop calling my apartment porn island.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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