he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Is it because I queefed?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
