i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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