she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
