I'm really into asian looking animals
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
