By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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