i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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