you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
