He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
