'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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