He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
