i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
