you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
