You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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