If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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