ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You dont lie about slip and slides
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
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