you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
