well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
