yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
