Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
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