Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
