Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
