Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
