I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
