you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
