I wish my penis had an off switch
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
