He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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