did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize