Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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