after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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