Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
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