she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
