K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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