god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
