i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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