You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
